While some people cannot tell the difference between cats and dogs, there are actually ways to tell them apart.
Cats can be eaten by frogs.
Unlike the more manic and fast-moving dog, sleepy-headed cats can find themselves gnawed on by a stealthy frog — particularly the Wide-mouthed Couch frog.Cat owners should be checking under their sofa seats to ensure that their favorite feline can catch a nap without fear of frog slobber.[Advertising opportunity: Does your company sell a safe and reliable frog slobber dauber, or kitty-sized jaws of life? Global warming will double, yes double, the need for cat-extraction technology, as well as the need to provide homes and distribution channels for these lovable and misunderstood Wide-mouth Couch frogs. Contact us!]
Dogs are bigger than cats.
While dogs are generally larger than cats, both dog and cat legs usually reach the ground — unlike those in this rare photo of the North American Ground-dwelling Dog.
Similar to camels, dogs can often go for long periods of time without a meal or a fatty snack — sometimes up to half an hour!
[Advertising opportunity: The market is growing for fatty snacks, preferably those suitable for the human/dog crossover market. Think “meaty-fruity-fibre”. Doggy wagons (to put the dog into, not to be pulled by the dog) are also needed. No frail wagons, please! These dogs can dent pavement! Contact us!]
Cats can see farther than dogs.
Thanks to their higher-altitude perches on sofas, computer keyboards and otherwise clean kitchen counters, cats can see things farther away — at least in those moments between napping duties.
While parrots were the choice of most fictional pirates, the Japanese Standing Cat — seen checking the horizon for seafaring mice — narrowly missed its chance to stand tall and proud, like a fluffy gopher.
[Training opportunity: Japanese Standing Cats will soon be joining the opera tour circuit of Europe, and showing up in other fancy places, as the warm-up act and body-doubles for shy opera singers. Problem: none of the them (I mean “cats” here) seem to speak either English or European. This is a major opportunity to surge ahead in the exciting opera-focused entertainment arena. Contact us!]
Dogs travel further and faster.
Seen here in a high-speed travel holster, modern dogs use both their own legs as well as motion-assisting devices, including cars, circus ponies, and high speed mag-lev trains — basically they are happy being out and about, on their way to another snack or sniff-fest.
While few dogs are able to book their own travel, they are eager to be on their way, running to the door at the first sound of words resembling “walk”, “run” or “What is wrong with this dog?” This is unlike cats, which would wear a groove into the linoleum between the food dish, litter box and sofa if their paws weren’t so absolutely dainty.
[Advertising opportunity: We’re looking for companies who can convince all women to carry dogs in the travel holsters we had designed for us by a previous Manufacturing opportunity. Help us!]
Cats are cleaner.
Thanks to advances in water-free tubs and tuna-flavored soaps, cats around the world are swirling their fur balls down the drain.
Unlike dogs, which are satisfied with sleeping on dirty welcome mats, cats know that a shiny coat, clean butt and “it’s all about me” attitude are vital social attributes for getting past the door and closer to the couch.
Plus, cats taste great, both during grooming and after! [At least to cats.]
[Research opportunity: The water-free tubs currently preferred by cats don’t actually exist. We’re looking for researchers to help us figure out what other things cats might pretend they own. Think about contacting us!]
Dogs have a lot on their minds.
As this photo shows, dogs are clearly brilliant thinkers. It can take a lot of planning, insight and careful strategy to be as close to food as possible without annoying your master.
While cats might become aloof and cranky when they don’t make the lecture circuit, dogs see this down-time as an opportunity to consider weighty issues, such as fat-to-fibre snack ratios, maximizing head pats, and the effects of air fresheners on both wet and dry noses.
[There are no research opportunities here — the dogs are already handling all the deep thinking.]
Yes, cats and dogs are just a bit different !